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Production notes from the Director, Amy Pickard
 

October 14, 2004

Tuesday, September 27, 2004

After months of looking forward to the day I'd be leaving for the film festival in London, it seems slightly bizarre that it is finally here. My good friend Doug has kindly donated his frequent flyer miles for me to fly to London and I'll be crashing on the couches of very sweet and tolerant friends to minimize expenses. Good thing too since I've spent a small fortune on various filmy expenses in the last two weeks. In fact, I took a job as a runner for Avril Lavigne and her crew as they geared up for their European tour. Yes, at the age of 35 (soon to be 36 in a week or so), I took a job as a runner. It was quick dough and it is paying for my trip to London. With the great news of being accepted into a film festival, comes great expense. Movie posters have to be printed, promotional postcards printed, an English copy of the film needs to be dubbed from a master output of the movie from my patient editor, etc....And since I had no TV jobs on the horizon, a runner job for Avril seemed pretty good to me. Thankfully, the crew guys were lovely to me but I'm thankful that the runner gig is over!

My roommate Suzanna's boyfriend has foolishly agreed to drive me to the LA airport at the inhuman hour of 5:45am. You will hear an announcement soon by the Pope since I've nominated him for sainthood. Collapsed on the plane to DC. (Doug's frequent flyer miles couldn't get me on a non-stop flight. I was so grateful that I didn't have to pay for the flight, I didn't care if I had to change planes and then take a train and a camel as well as a plane to get to London.) I slept the entire way there because I had been running around non-stop during the previous two weeks. The first week was for Avril and the second week was for the movie! I was at the printer's at 10:30pm last night trying to sort out the posters. They turned out a bit pinker than usual but hey, Glenn's pink and I'm hoping that no one will notice since there is no time to change them. Nothing ever goes right with the movie in spite of all my planning and organization and I almost cried at the printers. OFTR is the Sisyphean journey.

Got to DC and made my connecting flight to London. I had an aisle seat but was squished in the middle of the plane with four other people. As luck would have it, the two seats beside me had a German couple sitting there with their screaming infant. Luckily, they asked if they could move to the back of the plane. As their request was granted, I promptly threw myself over in both seats and yelled 'DIBS'! So my long haul flight to London was an undisturbed one with just me taking up two seats.

The bad news was that the infant cried throughout the journey. No IPod on full blast nor jet engine drone could drown out the lovely sound of an infant screaming. Sure, kids gotta travel, but I will admit to satanic fantasies of a James Bond like escape hatch.... not for me of course, but for the unhappy child. Why not invent baby parachutes? Or non-baby flights? Okay, so you probably think I'm like the evil monster in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. You're probably right, but my nerves are on edge as it is...I don't really appreciate SIX HOURS of wailing. I'm not exaggerating either. The baby didn't stop crying until the last hour of the flight. I did feel sorry for the parents but was ready to give the kid one of my Xanax pills to shut up. Bless.

Ended up reading a fab book by Jacob Slichter called "So you wanna be a rock and roll star?". He's the drummer in the excellent band Semisonic and their biggest hits were 'Closing Time' and in Britain 'Secret Smile'. I saw a lot of similarities in his tale with Glenn's story in the music biz and chuckled throughout. A great read! About an hour before we got into London, I was able to see the sunrise on the horizon and it was absolutely magical. Beautiful pinks and purples and oranges made it seem like floating through sherbet ice cream. Until it became GREY and BROWN as we made our descent from the clouds into London.

It seems every member of every country also landed at Heathrow the same time as it took me nearly 45 minutes to get through passport control. I had a celebrity spotting in the "I'm special and don't have to wait with you peons" line: Antonio Vargas also known as HUGGY BEAR from Starsky and Hutch! He was dressed in fancy duds (not very pimp like) and had a big old smile on his face. Probably because he knew that he'd get through the line a decade sooner than the rest of us.

My UK mobile phone rang: my English friend Tony, who lives in LA loaned me it to me and it suddenly went off in my bag. Turns out that it was Tony himself wishing me a safe trip. I also received a text message from my lovely friend Ashley who came to pick me up at the airport! I've never been picked up at an English airport before and was unbelievably touched that Ash would come get me at 6:55am in the morning. I also was ecstatic over saving money on the Heathrow Express since this trip will have to be all about being frugal.

I was relieved to see my bag on the conveyor belt as it had all the movie posters, flyers, etc... inside. Ashley gave me a big hug and we went back to his place in lovely Sheen. We drove through Richmond and Ash pointed out the abodes belonging to Mick Jagger and Pete Townshend. Rock and Roll! As we went through Richmond park, I spotted a million wild deer and thought of Ohio. I even saw white deer for the first time in my life and I couldn't believe that they were just hanging out, being their bad deer selves... so close to passing traffic!!

Once we got back to Ash’s place, I made some phone calls to Raindance headquarters to let them know that I was in the UK and Dom, one of the head honchos at the film festival happily informed me that there was a great review of the movie in Time Out magazine. He also gave me more details about the screening on Sunday. He said a MOJO magazine journalist was going to moderate the Q and A session and sort of 'host' the screening. I thought it was a great idea and he gave me his number since the journalist wanted to talk to me about how it would all go down. He then offered to read the Time Out review to me and I squealed with delight. He read enthusiastically, “A lowkey tour diary from the former Squeeze man as he travels round small town America in a motorhome. Tilbrook comes over as the nicest of fellows, genial, genuine and generous…” and I almost teared up it was so good until it got to the bit where Dom slowed down a bit and continued reading cautiously, “…whether he feels any frustration about his diminished status is never explored. Homely and entertaining but slightly unsatisfying.”

Suddenly, Dom felt awkward and then paused and said, "Fuck Time Out. What do they know?" It made me laugh as before that last bit, I thought Time Out knew quite a lot actually! Hey, I'm glad there's a review at all. Three years ago, I was so far from a review let alone a completed movie, I honestly wouldn't care if they said my movie was a pile of poo. It's a subjective thing and I like the film and did the best I could. You can't ask for anymore than that really! After hanging up with a very sweetly embarrassed Dom, I called the PR department for Sanctuary Publishing. They are putting out the new Squeeze book. I contacted them weeks ago about the screening offering the suggestion of hanging some posters for the book in the movie theatre. The book is coming out on November 1st and I thought it might be some good PR for fans to know and to get a glimpse of the cover and other fab details. They loved the idea and had postcards made up to pass out at the screening. Chris and Glenn will be performing an acoustic set followed by a Q &A session on Thursday, November 18th at 6:30pm at Borders Books and Music. (120 Charing Cross Road, London WC2) I’m depressed that I won’t be over here for that but am excited that it hasn’t really been announced yet and fans might find out at the screening.

I called and left a message with the Mojo journalist Keiran and was secretly hoping that he would be able to write something about the screening in the magazine. I've contacted Q, Uncut, Mojo and Word magazine tirelessly over the past three years...hoping for a mention of the website at the very least and have heard nothing back. Hope that Keiran is a bit cooler than his bosses have been to me. I don’t understand it. The new issue of Uncut features half a page on Be Bop Deluxe….uh, they were geniuses weren’t they? I start to get depressed. I’m thinking of writing an open letter to all of these magazines and newspapers with the title of “Who does a girl have to **** around here to get some press for my movie?!”

Feeling exhausted, I finally had to crash and take a disco nap while Ash and his lovely partner Jo went to the studio to work. They are both musicians and write amazing pop songs together and separately and you can hear some of their work on the following website: www.debrastephenson.com. Ash tells me that Debra was on Coronation St. so Corrie fans, rush over to the site and BUY her CD! I have known Ashley quite a few years now and first met him when I house-sat for Pete Thomas in Twickenham while I lived in London. Pete had a recording studio in the basement and Ash and Chesney Hawkes recorded in it while I stayed there. I used to love hearing pop music wafting up from the basement and sometimes the boys would emerge and I'd make them cheese on toast or banana bread.

After forcing myself to wake up at 7pm, the first order of the day was to get a Chinese Take Away! Crispy Duck and prawn crackers all around!! Glorious. I crammed several pancakes in my mouth and felt happy to be back in Britain. Two sleeping pills later, I slipped into the rather fabulous ROMPER KITTY SUIT much to the hilarity of Ashley and Jo. They mock, because they don't understand. It is the season's first outing of the leopard print onesie and no, I'm not wearing it to the screening if you must know! I'd certainly be remembered though, wouldn't I?

Wednesday September 28, 2004

Woke up from a deep, medicated sleep to my mobile ringing. I answered groggily thinking it was 6am. I wanted to say " What time do you call this then?!!" But if I had, Keiran the Mojo journalist returning my call would've said, "11:30 in the afternoon." oops. Man, those sleeping pills are potent! We chatted about the Q&A and Keiran said, "I'll just stand up beforehand and say that you and Glenn are going to be answering questions after and for them not to get up and leave after the movie." I know this sounds silly, but I had no idea that I was going to take part in the Q&A!!! I'm not the guy who wrote 'Tempted' and toured in an RV. Keiran assured me that it was important for me to take part and so I sheepishly agreed. I felt a bit bad that I wasn't really paying much attention to the rest of what he was saying and was thinking of what the hell I was going to wear in front of all those people! After deciding all of my clothes that I packed scream 'lesbian roadie' I got depressed and thought it best to focus on what Keiran was saying. He enjoyed the movie immensely and even wrote a bit about it for Mojo, mentioning the Raindance Film Festival. Sadly, Mojo decided to cut the Glenn movie mention out and just leave the few sentences about the festival and the two Ramones movies playing there. Sigh. Keiran wanted to know if Glenn was as nice in real life as he appeared in the movie and I said, "Of course he is. If you don't count the bodies he buried in the storage compartments of the RV." KIDDING! He didn't bury them in the RV. KIDDING AGAIN!!! The serious answer is yeah, he is. People don’t believe me but I have no ‘hidden footage’ of showbiz tantrums.

We chatted a bit about the movie and I felt happy that he dug the movie so much and think he'll do a fine job at the screening. Although a Q& A with an English crowd is my worst nightmare. Everyone is going to be far too reserved to be the first to raise their hands and ask a question! haha The good news is that if no one has a question, we'll segue immediately into Glenn's wee acoustic performance.

After putting the phone down from Keiran, I hear Ash yell out, "Morning honey!". As he worked on his music in the next room, I decided a bracing shower and a walk down to the shops to see the Time Out for myself was in order. Ash and Jo are those rare English people who have a fantastic nipple ripping hot shower, so I felt right at home and wanted to move in with them forever. After getting scrubbed up and only partially de-lagged, I went down to the shops for a Time Out and English jam doughnut. Spotted the Time Out review/mention of the movie and it didn't seem nearly as bad as Dom made it out to be, so I was relieved. I mean, I’ve had ex-boyfriends describe me as homely, entertaining yet slightly unsatisfying, but never my movie! I look at the homely bit as low budget-fair enough. And the unsatisfying bit, I can’t really make an eight-hour movie. I could’ve made a movie about Glenn and Chris or about Glenn and Suzanne or about touring in general but made a different choice. Glenn and the RV with some other stuff thrown in. I know people want to know more but I think it’s quite nice to be left with some questions and some curiosity about Glenn after you see the movie, so I don’t take the review too badly. There are several quotes in the movie from Glenn about his position now so I don’t know why the journo found it so unsatisfying.

I then called my journalist friends to see if they were able to get any press for the film. They both pitched the story of the movie to their editors at the Observer and the Guardian (UK newspapers) but were politely turned down. Word magazine was then approached yet again and we've yet to hear back. It's far too late to have anything in the magazines before the screening due to their deadlines, but there is always a chance, they might do a story on Glenn and the movie and use the screening as the launchpad!

I called Raindance again and they told me that the movie is almost sold out! 155 people and it's almost sold out! Great news and I was very excited. So excited in fact, that I fell asleep and took a three hour nap. That would be the jet lag then. Called my friend Johnni who is letting me stay at his flat in Willesden Green and made plans to meet up later that night. Ash kindly drove me to Mortlake Station and I felt like an alien. I lived in Britain for almost seven years and yet I felt like a boob asking which side of the platform I needed to get to for Waterloo station! My bag weighs a ton and not one gentleman stopped to help me drag it up or down the steps. One lady stopped to help me as I neared the bottom and I almost cried, I was so grateful. Made me way through the unbelievable bustle of Waterloo and the Underground man very kindly allowed me to sidestep the turnstiles and I smiled to him and said thanks and he looked surprised. He then said, “With a smile like that, it’s my pleasure. Do you know where you’re going to?” I almost sang a Diana Ross song back to him but just told him Willesden Green and he pointed me in the right direction. I remember a time when I knew the Underground like the back of my hand. I knew which carriage to board in order to be right in front of the connecting tube line I needed, or what carriage would be closer to the exit at my destination. I haven’t a clue now.

I lived in Willesden Green almost ten years ago when I first moved to London and rather than being struck by familiar images when I got out of the tube station, I was assaulted with the sight of trendy restaurants, new pubs and internet cafes. Nothing looked familiar to me and I felt unbelievably old. Dragging a huge bag is hard enough but when you're dragging it over ye olde cobblestone streets with loads of gob and dog poo to dodge, it's more than pesky. But I want to save on cabs so I carry on. I’m also reminded of the higgledy piggledy order of addresses in England. Maybe it’s worse because I’m dyslexic, but if you see #36, you’re pretty sure that #38 will be next to it. Well, I was completely confused and called my friend Johnni who rescued me by waving me over to his house.

Johnni just moved into a house and it’s a work in progress. Okay, I’m being charitable…it’s a building site. It’s going to be fantastic once everything is sorted though. His bedroom is the only finished room in the house and it looks fabulous and chic. I feel as if I’m sleeping in a George Michael video. (think “A Different Corner”) I’ve known Johnni for eleven years and he has been completely supportive of the movie from day one. He gave me a great deal of money for the film after my initial investor stopped investing and he’s allowing me to stay at his place for almost the entire time I’m here. Unfortunately, he is going to be out of town working and will also have to miss the screening but I’m at least glad to see him tonight. I am gutted he can’t be there since I could not have made the film without him but know he’ll be there in spirit.

Johnni and I had dinner and he, as always, was over generous and picked up the bill. After catching up over our lovely meal, we walked home and went to bed. I fell into a coma only to wake up like a kid at Christmas at 2:30am. Jet Lag Strikes! I ended up flipping through the channels from 2:30am until about 8am. I was thankful to catch Bono’s inspiring speech at the Labour Party Conference and I went back and forth through all the music channels and didn’t know 80% of the people on there. To call them artists would be generous. Not to sound like an old hag, but my depression hit an all time low when a guy called Bryan McFadden came on with a hideously pompous song called “Real to Me”. If I made a documentary about Bryan going around America in an RV, my phone would be ringing off the hook and I would be fighting the press off with a stick. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that manufactured pop music doesn’t have its place. What I’m saying is, why aren’t there outlets for intelligent pop music as well? Why is it once you turn 25 years old, you’re completely ignored as a consumer by the music industry and the entertainment industry? It’s great when a great band like “Fountains of Wayne” can sneak into the charts and it’s lovely when established artists like Paul Weller get in the top ten but the majority of established artists don’t stand a chance.

I’ve heard an advance copy of Elvis Costello’s new one “Delivery Man” and I think it’s one of his best efforts and I also think that it won’t make a dent in the current musical climate. I would dearly love it to be number one but unless Elvis’ record company choose to spend a billion dollars to buy advertising and bribe radio to play it, it is unlikely it will be a hit. I’m getting on my soap box now though aren’t I? Perhaps it’s not just the jet lag that is keeping me awake.

Thursday September 30, 2004

After only a few hours sleep, I forced myself out of bed since I had a million movie related things to sort out. I had postcards of the movie poster made to use at the screenings as well as to send out as thank you notes to everyone who has helped and will be helping the movie. In keeping with the bad luck of the movie, the postcard company’s website was unable to use my artwork and by the time I was able to sort it, it was too late for them to send me the cards in LA. I had to have them shipped to the UK at extra expense but they assured me that it would be fine and I would be getting them around the 30th. I have a few days before the screening, so I’m not worried but they aren’t here yet and they should’ve been.

I always make the joke that living in Britain is a bit like going camping. Nothing is ever simple or easy or convenient. In many cases, you can’t just spontaneously hop into a hot shower. You have to flip the ‘immersion’ on, wait for the water to get ‘hot’ and once you step into the shower, you’re sprayed with a tepid trickle that barely lasts through shampoo rinse repeat. In Johnni’s old flat, if you wanted to take a shower, you had to first turn on both taps in the sink. The Cold tap had to be on full blast and the hot tap had to be at a precise flow: not too strong and not too weak. Then and only then can you turn the shower on and have it vaguely in the neighborhood of what you need. In Johnni’s new house, you have to make sure the thermostat in the hallway is 25 or higher (but don’t forget to turn the 25 back down or you’ll be able to dry fruit in the house later.) Then you have to go into the bathroom, you turn on the Cold shower tap all the way up, as far as it will go and then gradually turn the Hot up. If you do it any other way, the water will be scalding hot. I joked to Johnni that the shower will work if I stand on one leg, type in the secret code and then recite the Star Spangled Banner backwards and then I can shower!

After following the extensive shower instructions, I tried drying my hair. My hair dryer didn’t work. I was in a rush to get to Raindance headquarters! But in another ‘welcome to England’ moment, I brilliantly remembered that you must turn on the socket in order for the appliance to work. You can’t just plug it in and go. I suppose I should be thankful that my hair dryer has a plug attached to it rather than a frayed end and having to channel some electrician skills to attach the plug myself.

The PR company that is working for Raindance phoned me in the midst of my hair drying “I love Lucy” sketch and asked for a clip from the movie because the ITV news show “London Tonight” wants to show a bit of the movie in their “what not to miss for the weekend” bit. I was headed into central London anyway in order to hand in my PAL Beta SP copy of the movie. (Which of course, was a nightmare trying to sort out back in the US, but after three months, Herculean efforts by my editor Jeff and my friend Shannon who is an editor, and $300, I had it in my hand as I boarded the plane!)

I racked my brain as to which ten-second clip from the seventy minute movie would best represent the movie to people and entice them to come to the screening! Being a true Libran girl, emergency phone calls to Andy Metcalfe and my mate Tony were made since I couldn’t pick just one and a clip was finally decided upon. Movie in hand, I made my way to Soho after Willesden Green tube hell consisting of evacuations, then announcements that service was suspended and then an announcement that all was back to normal. I find it strange that I feel intimidated by the hectic Oxford Street Station hub bub. LA is definitely slower paced. I had my leather jacket with me in case it gets chilly since it’s October in London after all. Well, it feels more like summer here due to unusually high temps and due to the break neck speed at which one must traverse Oxford Street without getting lost in the shuffle. I arrive at Raindance headquarters dripping with sweat and in need of oxygen. I have not been doing yoga on a regular basis due to work and working on the movie and I’m back to my squishy out of shape self.

Outside of Raindance, I run into a sweet girl from LA who just flew in for the debut of her film and just missed getting run over by a double decker bus. Those crazy yanks! I also ran into Dom, my contact at Raindance and Keiran, the Mojo writer. Keiran said some very flattering things about the movie and said I should be very proud of myself! Bless his cottons and I am indeed bursting with pride…and a wee bit of insecurity, but we won’t talk about that. We talked over some questions he had about the movie and then he half jokingly asked me if I wished I were “Mrs. Tilbrook”!!! That really surprised me but I said “No!” I wish I could be Mrs. Branson though.

Dom proceeded to walk me downstairs into the bustling Raindance office. If Satan had a workshop, this would be the place. The office is about as big as my living room at home, the temperature is positively tropical and if they wanted to, the whole Raindance staff could reach out and hold hands without moving from their desks.

I am introduced to all the hardworking festival staff and it was nice to put faces to names/email addresses that I’ve seen for the past two months. Everyone has a smile and I feel, an unspoken understanding of what it takes to make a movie. I really felt a lovely sense of belonging, which was comforting since I’ve pretty much been doing this whole glennmovie thing solo. The film festival is such a huge undertaking, I am shocked that the office and the staff size are so small and I’m amazed and impressed at all of their hard work. Oli informs me that my screening is sold out! I ask him if he’s joking and he assures me that he is not. I’m a bit gob smacked and just sit there wide-eyed and he just laughs and carries on working. Before this has had a chance to sink in, Dom walks me around the corner to the PR department to drop off the movie for “London Tonight”. Emma, the PR whiz that has been so lovely and helpful, asks if I’m familiar with the show. I watched the show all the time when I lived in London and remember the theme music rather vividly since I made up words to it: “duh duh duh duh duh duh… Lon-don To-night!” It seems that I need to edit my outside voice in future, because they both looked at me as if I were bonkers. But then I watch London Tonight later on that evening and realize that they have different theme music now. Oops. Well, it would have been funny a few years ago!!!

I have only a slight pang of reluctance in sending the master PAL copy of my movie over to London Tonight and pray that they return the copy in time for my screening. Off it goes without its mommy to protect it but I trust Emma and Dom to sort it out. I feel enormously relieved and slightly pampered knowing that someone else is going to follow up on the tape and make sure it arrives to the screening on Sunday. Dom and I walk briskly back to the Raindance office and he hands me the Raindance catalogue which features Glenn with photo and info in the front of the programme and then an amazing review: (click here or read ahead:)

“When Squeeze fan Amy Pickard decided to film GT during his one man American tour, she was looking for an excuse to legitimise what she jokingly describes as 'stalking' her hero. Yet first time filmmaker Pickard's portrait of Tilbrook is charming, genuinely heart warming and follows him as he works his way across the US in 2001, to promote his debut solo LP. Pickard is righteously miffed at the record industry who, having profited by Tilbrook's early work in Squeeze, have now left him with no option but to take the independent route. In the spirit of a travelling troubadour, he plans to travel from gig to gig in a mobile home but on arriving in NYC the vehicle is nowhere to be found. Unbowed, Tilbrook goes on the road playing small shows to the faithful. At one date, whilst performing 'Goodbye Girl' he leads the audience into the street where they all join in song together. One has the rare sense that Tilbrook is performing for the love of music and the rapport with the crowd rather than the lure of money. Happily he realises his mobile home dream and gets a mighty Cruise Master after signing autographs at the dealership. It breaks down 30 minutes after leaving the lot, but is fixed by Christmas. This is a December kind of film, a pleasant surprise that enables one to leave cynicism at the door and simply enjoy.”

I well up over the lovely review and ask Dom who had written it, (thinking it was someone in the office) and he told me that it was a freelance movie journalist who wrote a few reviews for the programme and then asked me why I wanted to know. I just told him, “I need to give her a cat bath, this review is so good!” Outside voice again Amy. Outside voice.

I make sure that the posters/postcards and review copy of the new Squeeze book arrived at headquarters and I can barely contain my excitement when I find that they have and I shall have an enjoyable tube ride home reading the new Squeeze book! I leave Raindance a very happy chick. As I walk down to the tube, it all seems to sink in. This is real! I used to live in London not that long ago and being back doesn’t seem particularly ‘different’ or ‘special’. In fact, it seems a bit like work since I’m on the go with phone calls and running around and unable to meet up with all of my friends. But after visiting Raindance, it seems to bring home the realization of what all this is about. I also had a flashback of me buying a touted ticket for a Squeeze show when I first moved here when they played the old T and C in Kentish town. Worth every penny too.

As I ride the tube back to Johnni’s, each stop has it’s own memories. I remember where friends lived, the stop for the doctor’s, where a boyfriend kissed me on the platform, where a friend revealed that he fancied me before hopping off at the next stop, it’s an odd feeling. Once I get back to Willesden Green, I’m starving and decide to go for the cheap fish and chips option for dinner-especially since Johnni has no oven in his house. I order cod and chips and forget that it’s routinely doused with vinegar unless specifically requested and by the time I remember, it’s too late. If I speak up, there will be eye rolling and harrumphing so I just don’t say anything. When in England, do as the English do. I just grimace at my soggy, tart supper and say nothing.

I get back to the house and have to make more phone calls. I phone Chris Difford and we agree to meet at the end of the week but will firm up plans later. Since I call him on my mobile phone, the signal goes in and out and when I asked him how he was doing, I could have sworn he said, “Handsome.” Even if he didn’t, I think that’s an excellent response. From now on, if anyone asks how I’m doing, I’m going to say, “PRETTY!”

Phone calls made and soggy chips picked at and pushed aside, I tear into the Squeeze book. I want to fast forward to the end to see if the movie is mentioned and if Glenn talks about it at all, but the fan in me overtakes my ego and I begin with Chapter one. I want to read the whole book before my Radio 6 interview in case I’m asked about it and so I can bring it up even if I’m not asked about it. The book is called “Squeeze: Song by Song” and can be preordered on www.amazon.co.uk but Jim Drury, the author of the book along with Glenn and Chris, told me that there are plans to release the book in the states at some point. The book is out on November 1st in the UK and will be available at all fine bookstores I’m sure.

The book is excellent, but I would say that wouldn’t I? The book is poignant, reverential, entertaining, funny, enlightening, brutally honest in most parts and even dark at times. It is everything that I originally wanted my documentary to convey. It is a much closer, in depth exploration of Glenn and Chris’ work as well as their personal lives. Whilst filming the documentary, I interviewed Glenn about all of the things the book covers. However, once I got home from the road and saw the footage, I felt that the footage revealed a different, lighter movie than what I had anticipated. I sometimes wonder how the movie would have been different if I hadn’t made the decisions I had made. If a more experienced filmmaker took over the reigns, would they have been able to do Glenn justice in a different way than I had chosen? Could they have told his story faced with the same limitations I came across? But as a UK fan had emailed me recently, “There’s no turning back now, eh?”

The book is a page-turner for the hardcore Squeeze fans. It’s immensely appealing for all of us because every fan has a favorite song and loves to explain why it’s their favorite song or what it means to them and it was really fun to read what Glenn and Chris think about my favorite Squeeze songs since, after all, it’s not something I ever discuss with them. I also think it will appeal to non Squeeze fans since it’s very insightful about the process of songwriting and interesting to discover how Glenn and Chris were influenced by what the US and what the UK were like at that time. The news was on in the background and I laughed as the forecast for Sunday was “possible flooding”, “gale force winds”, and the words they used to describe the conditions were “atrocious”, and “particularly nasty”. So much for the hairdo then. Note to self: take an umbrella. I felt bad for all the people who would be traveling into London for the screening. Oh, by the way. It’s sold out. Have I mentioned that?

After pouring through as much as my jet-lagged brain could take in, I reluctantly went to sleep with “Vicky Verky” in my head.

Friday, October 1, 2004

Had a horrible night’s sleep due to stress and jet lag and by the time the alarm went off at 7am, I had only just hit a deep sleep. I had to get up early because the only chance I had to see my friend Brett was a wee window of time in Chiswick from 9-11am. I took a shower and got ready and was completely exhausted. I trekked to the tube station only to find that it was being evacuated. The station help were rather surly and wouldn’t tell us what was going on or how we could make alternative travel arrangements. Before I got a chance to call Brett to tell him of the delay, they let us back in again. But southbound trains were closed and we were told to take a northbound train and then switch over to another line to go south. As we begin our journey on the northbound train, we are told that southbound service has resumed, so we all trudge over to the other side of the platform since we had only gone one stop and we all went back to Willesden Green. Once there, they announced that the Southbound service wasn’t actually working after all. At this point, I was ready to take a hostage. I had forgotten the bonds of friendship with Brett and was ready to just go back to bed…until they announced that normal southbound service had resumed. All the rush hour folks simply laughed at the absurdity of it all and I rode the whole way to Chiswick practically nestled in a businessman’s armpit the whole way as we clung to the bar above us. I arrived almost 45 minutes late but it was a good excuse to finish the rest of the Squeeze book!

I was a bit depressed after putting down the book. The main reason being that the last chapter talked about all the numerous projects that Glenn has worked on in the past two years. It mentions how he now tours solo and with his band the Fluffers in his two mobile homes in the UK and the US. It named both of his solo albums. It mentioned his happy relationship with Suzanne and his young son Leon. It didn’t, however, mention a project that I’ve worked on for the past three years. I’m not sure if Squeeze fans would be interested in a little documentary called “Glenn Tilbrook: One For the Road” but it would’ve been nice to get a wee mention! It’s all just a bit hopeless.

I also felt down after reading the book because Glenn and Chris are true musical geniuses and completely underrated, underappreciated and ultimately (duh) not working together anymore. I hate watching the movie “Let It Be” for much the same reason. It reminds me that the Beatles are human and I know how it’s going to turn out in spite of the fact that you want a different outcome. I just felt a bit sad.

My sadness turned to elation upon seeing Brett and his two mates. Hugs exchanged, we went to a local café where Brett very kindly paid. We caught up and of course, talk turned to the music business. Brett was in one of my favorite bands of all time: Ether. They were signed to Parlophone in the UK. Maroon 5 completely rip off Ether although I’m sure they are completely unaware of Ether’s existence. But because Maroon 5 are young and hot, because the record company spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on advertising, magically-they are popular!!!

In some rough footage from the movie, Glenn tells the story of when “Hourglass” became a hit in America. The president of the record company at the time told Glenn that the song was going to be a hit and Glenn wondered why he was so confident about predicting the fortunes of their single! I don’t know if Glenn was being naïve or sarcastic but the reason “Houglass” was a hit was because the head honcho knew that his company would spend the money in advertising, in paying radio to play it and to provide the band with an expensive video; therefore, making the song a hit.

I said goodbye to Brett and his lovely mates and then headed to Earls Court internet café. As it happens, I met an old mate of mine Allan, who lives nearby for a quick coffee. I used to live in Earls Court in 1995 and needless to say, it’s changed a bit! I had to have a quick stroll past my old flat (well, okay it was a bedsit) in Nevern Square off of Trebovir Road.

We lived a stone’s throw away from Earls Court Arena and I remember being able to hear Pink Floyd wafting through the air if we opened our windows. When I say “we”, I’m referring to the 10 other girls that lived in the bedsits in the house as well. Rose was the name of our ancient landlady and she was positively senile and batty. Whenever I would see Rose in the hallway, she’d always say, “Hello Roy!” The other girls thought it was hilarious and I just got used to answering to Roy.

After coffee, I headed towards the internet café and signed on for two hours. I was hoping for tons of emails from the UK press. I had none. Well, I did get an email from a lovely guy named Max who works for London Tonight. He’s a big Squeeze fan and had booked them to play when he was at University and said he’d try his best to get a mention on the show but couldn’t promise anything. Ahhh well. At least he had the best of intentions.

Slightly deflated over my depressingly empty email “inbox”. I decided to make a start on the diary for the website. I type much faster and easier than I write and seeing as how I got here 3 days ago, if I don’t make a start now-I’ll never do it. I tippity tapped away and transcribed the whopping two reviews of the movie to some pals and to my mom and dad and before I knew it, three hours had passed! Wanting to get back to the flat to fox up for a Raindance shindig before rush hour, I stopped into a Marks and Spencers “Simply Food” shop. It’s ready-made meal heaven in there and since Johnni doesn’t have an oven, microwaveable food would be my dinner. I wish LA would open up an M&S.

I popped into Rymans to get a journal since I wasn’t sure when I’d get a chance to be at a computer again. As I waited for the tube to come at Earls Court, I laughed at the memory of visiting there a few years before I moved to London. I didn’t realize that one needs to look at the signs above to figure out which destination the train will go to. You can stand on the same platform (one of two) but the trains go to several different places-depending on which destination is lit up on the board. My friend and I (of course she was American and clueless as well) got on a train to go to Fulham Broadway in order to see BLUR in concert. We kept getting on the train to Richmond, (those of you unfamiliar with the London Underground will have to skip this bit and rejoin us after this paragraph.) As soon as we hit West Kensington, we had to get off and get a train back to Earls Court! Once we were back there again, we then proceeded to get on the next train on the same side of the platform and ended up on our way to Ealing Broadway. To say we were perplexed is an understatement. We got off, went back to Earls Court AGAIN and were practically in tears. All we wanted to do was go to Fulham Broadway! An underground employee finally helped us since he had watched us get on and off the same train a dozen times and then very kindly directed us to the signs above our heads and told us to look for big arrows lighting up next to Wimbledon and then board THAT train. We got there in the end but it took us three hours from Victoria to Fulham Broadway!

On the tube back to Willesden Green, I started thinking about the sold out screening. Wondering if all of my friends were able to buy tickets since I had no guest list. (Being a rock and roll guest list veteran, I informed all of my friends that I had no guest list. I knew there would be a few straggler pals who would not heed my advice to book early and that they would wait until the last minute, show up in a panic and then beg me to get in.) More on that later. I also started wondering if any of the TV commissioning editors would show, or if any of the journalists I emailed would attend. As I walked out of the tube, I walked so briskly that I was starting to sweat and my shirt was feeling itchy. I popped into the shops for a few cans of coke and got a few funny looks from the man behind the till. I assumed it was a because of my American accent. When I got back to the flat, I was horrified to discover that I had broken out in hives over thinking about the movie!!! Luckily, I had some Benadryl in my bag but I felt so hideous, I thought I’d stay in. I was exhausted anyway and I wasn’t going to go out looking like a bright pink hive covered Elephant Man so a night in catching up on my diary, watching crap telly, eating microwaveable chow and early to bed it was. Oh, the glamour of independent filmmaking!

Saturday, October 2, 2004

Was woken up at 9:35am by my mobile phone. It was a message from my mate John who plays with the Super Furry Animals, inviting me to the after show party in central London at 1:30am the previous night. Why I didn’t get the message last night at 1:30am, I don’t know but I was pleased my phone didn’t go off as I was well into the land of nod when he rang. After successfully mastering the shower by now, I’ve gotten bathing Dickensian style down to about an hour. After foxing up, I got on the tube and headed for my big BBC Radio 6 Interview! I left the house about two hours early since the Willesden Green tube line is about as reliable as Glenn’s RV. Of course, there were no ticket machines open and the queue to get a ticket wrapped around the block. I managed to get to Broadcasting House with only 15 minutes to spare but on the tube ride there, I jotted down some notes for the interview. There were a few things I wanted to talk about. My list:

1. glennmovie.com mailing list.
2. raindance.co.uk - hard working staff, true supporters of indie films, other films in the festival
3. D & T performance in November
4. Squeeze book Song by Song
5. Glenn’s November tour
6. Transatlantic Ping Pong, Glenn’s album

I brought in my Screening CD, which is a mix of Squeeze songs and Glenn solo songs. I made the CD to play at screenings because it amps up the anticipation as well as reminding people that they know more Squeeze songs than they think they do. Since the movie follows Glenn around in 2001, it only features 3 of his solo songs and none of the new songs off of Transatlantic Ping Pong, so I’m hoping, in some small way, it might give people a chance to hear some of the new stuff.

I’m shown upstairs and Frank sits me in a room where I can write down the track listings from my CD. He asks me to pick which Glenn solo song I’d like to play. Of course, since I’m there to promote the movie, I choose my favorite track from TAPP “One For The Road”! Frank takes the CD into the studio and then pops back in and asks me, “Does this song have fuck in it?” “Huh?” I ask articulately. Frank laughs and says “Apparently, one of the songs has the word fuck in it.” I told him that there was no fuck in One For the Road. I think working on the movie so much has jaded me a bit. I only listened to the completed TAPP a few times since I liked his demos better. I hope that doesn’t sound horrible, I mean, I still feel the Glenn love, I just feel the under produced Glenn love more than the overproduced Glenn love. Call me when they release “TAPP-NAKED”!

I asked Frank if I could use his internet while I was there and he kindly allowed me to sit at his desk. I noticed that Radio 6 has a webcam and I wish I would’ve told my Dad when I was on, so he could’ve seen me. I could’ve given him a wave. Oh well. As I sit there, going over my list of what to say, I hear her say, “Coming up we’ve got a real treat for Squeeze fans. We’ve got a girl who went on tour with Glenn Tilbrook and she’s going to tell us all about it.” I am immediately depressed. No mention of the movie or the fact that I made one. I get overly sensitive and feel that though I shouldn’t be portrayed as Amy Ford Coppola, I also shouldn’t be portrayed as some random fan that was picked from a lottery of Squeeze anoraks to go on the road with Glenn. Frank races in to tell me that they can’t play “OFTR” since ‘there are no words on it”. But it’s a Glenn solo song and it’s for the movie! So I begrudgingly pick “Untouchable” since that’s the single. They ask me which Squeeze song I’d like played and of course, I want to play “Third Rail” or something vaguely from the past decade and they say “How about Take Me I’m Yours? Oh wait. Glenn doesn’t sing on that one does he?” Uh oh. Frank told me the movie looked like good fun. I brightened up, “Oh, did you like it?” He then said, “Oh, I only watched bits of it.” I wanted to ask if Liz had seen it but didn’t want to be big headed or put her in a weird position, so I thought it best not to ask.

They call me in the studio and Liz is lovely and friendly. The interview was a bit of a blur. She didn’t ask me any of the questions that I had expected, which as an interviewer is always a challenge. I should know better having interviewed a billion bands and others in my TV and radio career but I am new at being the interviewee! She asked me what it was like being in Glenn’s inner sanctum, which made me giggle because I almost thought she said inner rectum! “It’s very dark Liz.” I know this is disgusting humour, but you have to bear in mind, that I was jet lagged, stressed and consequently a little spacey. She then asked me what I learned about Glenn that I didn’t know before. I very nearly said, “Well, his favorite colour is blue and he likes girls that are shy but not too shy. He’s a Virgo.” I just answered honestly and said that he was a good cook. I honestly didn’t expect that and was surprised to find out that he digs cooking and rustles up some tasty dishes.

Before I knew it, the interview was over and I was rushed into giving the Raindance site and my glennmovie site a plug. Rushed into saying that Glenn would be at the screening tomorrow and managed to chat about the D&T thing at Borders and the Squeeze book. WHEW! Liz gave me the new Robyn Hitchcock CD and then asked if I wanted the copy of the movie back. I said sure why not and noticed that the movie was not rewound so it looked like whoever watched it, saw about ten minutes and then pressed EJECT. Frank showed me the elevator and I thanked him for the opportunity to come in. I then called Chris Difford to say that the interview was over and we met at All Soul’s Church near the Beeb and went to lunch. Click here if you want to hear it for yourself.

Chris asked me how the interview went and for some warped reason, I thought it was super lame! (I didn’t think I came across that well. But it just goes to show you how your perceptions can be completely distorted! I listened to the interview when I got home and it was completely fine! I’m a jerk for thinking it was a nightmare!) I just felt that I came across as a desperate anorak that lives in her parent’s basement with a candlelit shrine to Squeeze. Chris laughed and was sufficiently sympathetic. He reassured me that he’s sure it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Chris then asked me if Glenn paid for my ticket over to London, which made me laugh HARD! I told him that my friend Doug very kindly donated his frequent flyer miles and that I couldn’t have afforded to come over otherwise. As we were eating, I said, “Thanks for feeding me!” and he said, “Well someone has to.”

We talked about the film and he was asking me how it was going and what my plans were, etc…We talked about some mutual pals and what they were up to. I asked him some questions about the Squeeze book and was surprised at how honest he and Glenn were in it. He said there wasn’t any point being anything BUT honest and funnily enough, Glenn later said exactly the same thing to me. Chris told me that he had dinner with Glenn last week and they both discussed the book and how much they both learned about each other from reading it. I said, “Oh my god! You both are so English. You never say a word to each other about how you feel and then you have to wait 30 years to find out what the other one thought!” He just laughed. Those Brits. Sheesh!

It was lovely seeing him after all this time and since we both had people to go meet afterwards, we said our goodbyes and he wished me the best of luck for tomorrow. I asked him if he wanted to come to the screening and he said he would but it’s my day and Glenn’s day and he’d leave it for us, which I thought was quite generous of him. I know the movie isn’t about him, but it does showcase his fantastic lyrical ability and the songs of Squeeze and he’s been really supportive and lovely of the film and my endeavors. We heart Chris!!!

It was slightly torturous to not be able to shop on Oxford Street, but I know that any money spent here will be missed when I’m in LA and the bills are due, so I abstain. By the time I get to Willesden Green, I’m exhausted. I stop into the shop for a hunk of cheese to make some cheese on toast when I get back to Johnni’s. I’m frustrated that my movie postcards never arrived and I’m wondering if I’ll be able to get my money back from the horrible vendor. I’ll name and shame them now - www.vistaprint.com. As Shakespeare would say, “They suck.”

I watch a bit of TV and then take a sleeping pill since I know mere will power will not stop the glennmovie wheels from spinning into the wee hours. Tomorrow’s the big day and my best mate Johnni is not here and I’m feeling slightly sorry for myself in that none of my best girlfriends are here either and we can’t wake up tomorrow and have a big breakfast and then we put our makeup on and borrow each other’s clothes and talk about the screening. I am by myself. Quite fitting since I felt that singular existence far too many times whilst working on the movie. I’m not nervous about whether or not people will like the movie tomorrow. I’m more nervous about the potential DVD distributors and TV people showing up. I don’t want to get on the plane home to LA and have nothing change. I don’t want to still be struggling to make ends meet and still doing all of the donkey work in trying desperately to get the world to notice the movie. I spent years of fantasizing about this event, even when I didn’t have a tangible movie and I want to enjoy it for what it is and try to remember the day and have fun!

Sunday-October 3, 2004

I set my alarm for 11am in case the sleeping pill had trouble wearing off. I’m pleasantly surprised that it is 9:30am when I open my eyes and see the sun shining brightly. What happened to the gale force winds? I lay in bed thinking about the day ahead. Part of me wants to sleep the day away and part of me is terribly excited. I turn on the TV watch a bit of Simon Cowell’s show “X Factor”. I love it but can only watch enough to bide my time while I eat my breakfast of a hunk of cheese and a Diet Coke. I shower and pack my bags and order a cab to come in a few hours. I make a list of things to take to the screening. 2 extra copies of the movie in case the other one never came back from London Tonight or if the current copy screws up in some kind of way. Flyers for my website, business cards and posters, camera and the most important thing of all: tissues in case a tear or two escapes.

I feebly attempt to achieve the look of ‘casually gorgeous LA filmmaker rock babe’ from ‘lesbian roadie’ and I begin to meticulously apply my makeup. I have 40 minutes until the cab comes when my UK mobile rings. It’s Glenn. He decided to sit down and watch the movie again as a bit of a refresher for what he has in store for him in a few hours. As far as I know, Glenn has seen the final cut of the movie once last year. I sent him rough cuts and bits and bobs over the years, but once the film was completed, I asked him what he thought of the movie and he responded, “Uh… it’s good.” Hmmm. Encouraging but under whelmed. I joked to him at the time that I’ll not be putting his review of the movie on the poster. “Uh… it’s good!” says Tilbrook, subject of film. “Slightly unsatisfying!” Time Out. We briefly spoke of the movie one time after that but nothing further was gleaned. Not exactly the reaction I’d hoped for but it is truly impossible to have any sort of objectivity on a movie about yourself. I mean, when it comes to seeing someone else’s perspective on what they think is your life or your story has got to be surreal. I tried desperately not to take Glenn’s reaction personally and wasn’t always successful. I thought that Glenn agreeing to take part in the Raindance screening was his English way of showing his support for the movie. Especially after reading the Squeeze book, I should know that Glenn never sat with his arm around Chris saying, “That was a fantastic lyric you wrote Chris. I’m really blessed to have you as my writing partner. Thanks for everything. You mean so much to me.” And I had hoped Glenn would gushingly praise the movie? What was I thinking?!

As much as Glenn is English and slightly autistic in expressing his feelings, I am a product of my homeland as well and have been tempted to have a caring, sharing, touchy, feely, nice long chat about the movie with Glenn, but I am also a girl and find it easier to just let it sit in my gut for eternity. I was devastated when Glenn wasn’t that forthcoming about the movie. But now, with Glenn calling to chat about the movie, my heart almost stopped. He sounded exhausted from touring but he said he wanted to call me to tell me how much he loved the movie! He thought I did a great job and that the story was told really well. I was completely shocked and stunned and as he kept talking and praising the movie and my hard work and basically saying almost every single thing I’ve ever wanted to hear from him VERBATIM, I just started bawling. I tried to maintain some sort of dignity but with my exhaustion, my jet lag, the hard work put in for today and the emotional toll of the last three years just bubbling up to the surface, I couldn’t have been dignified if I tried. Glenn said he was really touched by the movie and I just felt enormous relief. In fact, I don’t really remember what he said after that. I was just so happy that he enjoyed the movie. Horrifically, I discovered the cab was on its way. I thanked him for calling and for saying what he said and that it meant everything to me and that I also had to hang up due to the cab and the fact that I had about an hour’s more crying to do! He said he’d see me in a bit and I hung up with the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders.

The cab came and I decided to just finish my make up at Andy Metcalfe’s. I was on my way to his to drop off my huge bag and then I’d go to the screening from his place. I got in the cab and knew it would take 30 to 40 minutes to get to Andy’s so I told the cabbie, “Look, I’ve just had some really good news so I’m just going to weep for a bit. But don’t worry about me because everything is fine. I’m just a bit emotional and tired but I’m really happy.” He smiled and I just cried all the way to Andy’s. Bob Marley’s song “Don’t worry ‘bout a thing” came on the radio and the cabbie said to me, “You should listen to this song, no?” I finished my cry and as I hefted my bag into Andy’s hallway, I knew I looked like a prize fighter and had only minutes to fox up properly before I had to go to the screening. After a quick hello to Andy, ice cubes were quickly dispatched to put on my eyes and loads of slap was needed to cover my bright red nose and post-weep puffiness. I said goodbyes to Andy who was in the middle of his Sunday lunch and I hopped in a cab to Piccadilly, an hour later than I hoped. I decided to treat myself and take cabs because I did not need the added stress of the tube and sweating and carrying my bag, etc…I wanted to be chauffeured to my two destinations today. The cab lets me out in front of the London Pavilion where I worked for two years when I first moved to Britain. I walked the familiar block over to the Trocadero and was amazed at how much it has changed. It’s an overload for the senses. I can only describe it as a mini Vegas and not for old people like me. I was relieved to see that the watch shop in which I worked for two weeks for two pounds an hour is not there anymore.

I got to the Cinema and went straight to the Raindance booth. Due to the Vegas like nature of the Cinema’s set up, my poster and the Squeeze book posters got lost in the shuffle a bit and I think it would be hard for people to figure out where the Raindance films are. (but maybe that’s just me) I talk to the staff and ask for Dom or Oli from Raindance to point me in the right direction and to give them the guest list. I look over to my right and notice a man strangely looming behind me and just as I go to give him a dirty look, I realize it’s my friend Andy S. who I haven’t seen since 1989!!!! He looks exactly the same only without hair. When I last saw him, he had red curly locks down to his shoulder. Hilarious. He said he got here early, got the train from Andover only to find that the movie was sold out! I put him on the list and wanted to catch up on old times and see how he was, but there was too much work to be done.

Luckily, around the same time, my ‘English family’ from Aldershot arrived and they got to chat to Andy and keep him company while I ran around. Suzanne called and said that she and Glenn were running late, which was no surprise! I said I had turned their guest list in and all was well but that I was running around. Finally found Dom, who sorted the guest list out and gave Oli my screening CD to be played while the people are filing in. I saw Maggie, one of “Glenn’s hens” and her mate Liz but didn’t really get to stop and chat. Mags came all the way from Manchester and I was so touched that she made the trip. She looked unbelievably glam and was told that she had to make an effort for her first film premiere! Loads of my friends turned up and I literally only had time to say hi, yes, I was excited, I hope they like the film and then I usually asked them to hold something for me or tell someone something for me. I needed staff! I wish I had a road manager to help me on occasions like this. Glenn and Suzanne arrived (not that late after all) and after frantic hellos were exchanged, Suzanne asked me to get some beers and waters. Sadly, I had to hang my roadie shoes up for the time being and take care of the movie related stuff. Raindance wanted me to meet some other filmmakers and get them into my screening, which I did happily. My friend Elaine turned up and was surprised to find it sold out, so I put her on the list. (See….. aren’t I smart? I knew it would happen!!!) And two other friends turned up without tickets and were ready to cry so I got them on the list as well.

It was approximately 800 degrees in the Trocadero and my windswept glamour soon turned into dripping with sweat with my naturally curly locks sticking annoyingly to my neck and face. AND I was in heels! Feeling incredibly stupid just sort of plopped in the middle of an entrance, I asked that the posse, which now consisted of mates Jeff and Gill and Sukie from the Quixotic office, to move to the hall. I finally met Jim Drury, the author of the Squeeze book and he seemed wide eyed and excited about seeing the movie and shared with me that he only three days earlier learned about the movie! (???) I gave him a hard time (jokingly of course) about not including, at the very least, the name of the movie in his fine, fine book and he was sheepish and apologetic. If he had known, he would’ve put it in there but of course, in keeping with the bad luck of the movie, the book went to print only a few days ago. DOH!

I ran around some more looking for my posters and then ran back into Glenn and Jeff and Jim in the hallway. They had successfully found beers and were sharing them around. I was hot and sweaty and thirsty and took three very unladylike gulps from Glenn and Jim’s beer-but guys dig a chick that can swig a brewskie like a cowboy, right?? I had to leave a lot to Raindance as far as taking care of Glenn was concerned since I didn’t know the layout of the place, or where they should go before the movie, etc…I mean there is no rock lounge to unwind in before a movie. I perhaps could have sorted everything out had I gotten there a bit earlier but I just didn’t have the time. I saw Keiran from Mojo and he introduced his wife to me who was from Ohio as well! Woo! Buckeyes in the hizouse! I found a wee moment of comfort in the fact that another chick was from Ohio and in London watching my flick. Where was Chrissie Hynde to complete the triad?

Everyone was finally allowed to go into the theatre and as soon as I get up there, Andy Metcalfe calls me and tells me that he’s in the lobby and that I’ve forgotten to put him on the list! Of all people! One of my Bessie mates and the guy whose house I just came from and will go home to tonight, I forgot to put on the list! Argh! And he also said that there were some folks from “London Tonight” that wanted to talk to me. As I went down the hundred and three escalators to the lobby (okay, there were only six but it felt like my movie was making its UK debut in the sky), I was feeling grateful that though London Tonight wasn’t able to put a clip on their show promoting the film, they sent a crew to the screening and were going to interview me about the festival or the movie or something. By this time, my lipstick had worn off as had most of my makeup due to the oppressive heat, but I didn’t care. As long as I could get some press for the movie and for the festival, I’d be happy. Finally at the bottom, I found Andy, got him a ticket and then he introduced me to the two girls from London Tonight, who were absolutely lovely and friendly, but had boxes of popcorn in their hands rather than cameras and boom microphones. They said that they work with Max, who sorted tickets out for them and how excited they were to see the movie. I was hoping that my extreme disappointment didn’t register and I smiled widely and falsely and thanked them for coming.

Everyone who was on the guest list was actually in the theatre and all was running as planned if not a few minutes late. I hassle Oli about the CD. I popped my head in the theatre and noticed stone cold silence and milling about rather than Squeeze and Glenn tunes pumping rather fantastically through the theatre. I see Dom running around and I ask him about the CD since I can’t find Oli. Dom very politely shares with me that the CD is not a high priority and I suddenly realize how neurotic I am. Especially since Dom is dripping with sweat as well and not only trying to sort my screening out, but other screenings taking place at the same time in other theatres! I feel ashamed that I’m obsessed with the CD. I suppose when I’m nervous, I just focus on ONE thing and can’t rest until it’s sorted. I see Oli rushing down the escalator as I go up the escalator, and before I can say anything to him about the CD, he says, “It’s there and they’re playing it.” I go back up the million escalators and pop my head into the theatre and discover happily that they were right, the CD is playing and I hear a Glenn solo song bopping out of the speakers. I then go to find Glenn who is hanging out in the fire exit right off of the theatre with friends and where he seems to be looked after. I take a swig from his water and then run back downstairs to grab some extra Squeeze: Song by Song postcards. I see my lovely friend Ash and his lovely girlfriend Jo and they both come up to me, I grab their hands and say curtly, “I can’t talk to you!” and I feel horrible for being such a dick especially when Ash says, “I know honey. Just wanted to let you know that I was here.” I will apologize to them later. I fail to ask Dom and Oli if the movie is up in the projection room and if the audio levels are fine and if they know when the movie starts since it starts a bit abruptly, etc…

I ride an eternity up the escalators and pop into the theatre to say hi to some friends and there is not only no music, but in my perception, loads of impatient shuffling about. It turns out the sound guy with his equipment is sorting out the audio concerns for when Glenn plays a few songs. There is no Squeeze/Glenn CD playing to keep the troops entertained, just the sound guy checking the levels of audio by BLASTING Maroon 5’s “This Love” at high decibels, causing everyone to jump in their seats and then he cranks the music back down and adjusts accordingly. This is close to driving me bonkers. I know I want everything to go perfectly, but the crowd have waited patiently for the movie to start and now they’re waiting even longer. No one is saying anything to them about why it’s taking so long, people have taken trains to get here and have planned on leaving accordingly and I feel a responsibility to go say something to the crowd about how long it’s going to take.

I see Rachael from Raindance who has taken time out of her busy schedule to pop in for the screening, which is lovely. She is a reassuring presence and I ask her to sort out the CD. The CD! I’m obsessed with the CD! She then gamely agrees to go find out about it and I’m scared that she’ll run into Oli and Dom who will undoubtedly roll their eyes and want to shoot me should they have to field yet another irrational CD question. She calmly returns and informs me that they can’t have the CD on while the sound guy checks levels. I’m depressed. I go back into the fire exit where Glenn is hanging with pals and I share my concerns with him. “Should I go say something to the crowd? Do you wanna say something?” He says no, he’s sure it’s fine. I get frustrated and just announce that I’m going to the front to say something. I bolt through the doors, walk to the front, while the audio guy is fiddling for an eternity, and make an announcement. As I get everyone’s attention, I see Keiran up at the top of the room, mic in hand, waiting for the signal to come down to introduce the film. He is slightly baffled as he looks at me and motions to give me his mic. I nod no and just yell, “Hi everyone. I’m Amy. I made the film, I just wanted to let everyone know that they’re still working on the audio levels for Glenn’s performance and it’s going to be about ten or fifteen minutes, so thanks for your patience, sorry it’s taken so long and thanks.” As I walk back upstairs to the back of the theatre, I see Glenn shouting to the audience saying something about the movie actually being a hoax and that there is no movie. Something about Amy making it all up and now there is no movie and we’re all terribly sorry. The crowd laughs and I go back into the little fire exit room to pace nervously.

Glenn comes into the room and we just sort of stand there, both lost in our thoughts. I’ve seen the movie a billion times but never on a BIG proper movie screen in a proper theatre. Glenn, on the other hand has, as far as I know, seen the movie twice on ickle DVD on his computer. So I can imagine that this is very weird for him. Although you wouldn’t think it, Glenn is surprisingly very shy and I sense that he’d rather gnaw off his own limbs than be here today to see his face and words up on screen a billion feet high. I’m sure he has no problem whatsoever hearing his music or seeing his performance-it’s just the other stuff that might be disturbing for him. I know his schedule is insane having just returned from an exhausting Scottish tour and he’s leaving for Japan tomorrow but I think he looks a hundred years old and not a little freaked out. I try to go in and sit down but feel too antsy. Suzanne goes down to the front and line checks the guitars and it makes me laugh because she doesn’t know any chords and simply just takes the pick and drags it back and forth making a dischordant “Bliiiiiiing” noise repeatedly. Everyone claps afterwards and she is mortified. I remember Glenn saying that he tried to teach her a few chords to play for line checking, but she found it too hard. I sided with her at the time since I find it impossible to play the guitar.

An eternity later, or so it seemed to me at the time, I saw Keiran go down to the front of the crowd. He introduced himself and that he was from Mojo magazine and let everyone know that Glenn and I would be there for a Q&A afterwards and that Glenn would be playing and now he presents “Glenn Tilbrook: One For the Road”. Everyone claps and the lights do down. I’m sitting in the very last row in the back next to Suzanne and Glenn is on the aisle next to her. I feel like I want to vomit and then Suzanne leans over and whispers, “I’m really excited!” I say enthusiastically, “What, to see it on the big screen?” and she says, “No. I haven’t seen the movie.” “You haven’t?” She nods no. Now I really want to vomit. This night is full of surprises for everyone then!

A film starts but it is not my film. It is what I recognize as the Raindance trailer. (you can see it on their website.) What makes me laugh is that I think the crowd might actually believe that the trailer is the movie. My movie. The trailer starts out with very cinematic music and a grainy black and white stylish scene with shadowy figures walking down some cobblestone street. I can see the crowd sort of muttering and turning to each other and I want to yell, “This isn’t the movie!” but I don’t. There is then a shot of a shadowy man with a horse and cart that goes down the street and I want to make the joke that it’s actually Glenn on tour 2020, but I don’t. I imagine that the trailer cost more to shoot than my whole movie. As the Raindance logo comes up at the end of the trailer, the crowd laughs and I really think they thought that it was supposed to be the start of OFTR. Okay, so the baffling trailer ends. It’s dark in the theatre. My movie isn’t starting. We wait. The crowd waits. Everyone in the back row is looking at me. I have no idea what’s going on. I know the movie starts abruptly, but it hasn’t actually started at all. I am depressed. I almost yell out, “This is my favorite bit!” but I don’t. It seemed like almost ten minutes went by, but I will admit that my perceptions are not to be trusted in my current emotional state. Thankfully, my movie starts. Unfortunately, it is at a decibel that only the bionic woman can hear. I bound out of my seat and fumble past Glenn and Suzanne, knocking over their water and tripping over their coats. I burst through the doors to find Oli and Dom outside sweating. I snap, “The audio has got to be a million times louder.” They are stressed but say that they just told the guy to crank it up. I huff back into the theatre and find that the audio has now been fixed and it sounds fine.

I’m surprised at how well the film looks on the big screen. I didn’t shoot the movie on film, just MiniDV and so was worried about the quality of the film being crappy. It looks great. Well, as great at a low budget movie can look! And I’m relieved. I’m not entirely relieved however, because I’ve never seen the movie with Glenn and am secretly monitoring his every reaction. The crowd laughs in all the right places and so do Glenn and Suzanne. This is a good sign. I watch the crowd and they seem involved and interested and really responsive to the humour, which leaves me unbelievably touched. So much so, that I start to get emotional and need to leave the theatre to have a quick weep to gather myself. As I get up to leave discreetly so as not to show that I’m crying, I knock over their water again and trip over their coats again to get to the exit. I take the eighty nine escalators down to the loo, splash some cold water on my face and then run the ninety seven escalators back up to the screening. I sneak quietly back into my seat and am thankful that Glenn is now holding his water so that I won’t knock it over again and I plop down in my chair composed and cool as a cucumber in spite of the fact that you could fry an egg on my forehead due to its heat. The only other time in my entire life that my forehead felt this hot when I didn’t have a fever was when I was in the front row at Paul McCartney’s press conference in 1989 with my video show. I don’t know why I get this way but my forehead feels as though it is on fire. Perhaps too many emotions and thoughts are making my brain overheat!

Glenn pops out momentarily for a smoke and I thought for the rest of the film but he returns in a nanosecond for the rest of the film. I find that the British audience is stereotypically much more reserved than American audiences have been. In America, they clap after songs and sing along. Especially after the song “Voodoo Child (Slight Return)” by Jimi Hendrix and when after singing “Hourglass”, Glenn says, “I’d like to have a round of applause for Chris Difford!”. Today, there is silence but I can see smiles on people’s faces so I’m happy. I just wish they would be slightly more animated for Glenn’s sake. As the movie nears its end, I find myself unbelievably nervous. I am just wishing it would end! About five minutes before the movie ends, there is a strange, loud clicking noise over the right entrance in the back. I am almost ready to try and sort it out, but no one else seems to be bothered by it and it eventually stops. I keep taking deep breaths and feel myself getting very antsy. The movie ends and thankfully, everyone claps! The lights go up and some lovely gentleman sitting in front of me, turn around and smile at me and says, “Brilliant film! Thanks very much.” Sooo sweet! Keiran makes his way to the front while people are clapping and says, “I’d like to get Glenn Tilbrook and Amy Pickard down here.” Everyone starts clapping and cheering enthusiastically. Glenn, in typical Tilbrook fashion bounds happily down to the front, I take a bit longer as I’m in high heel boots but am so touched at the response by the crowd.

I see Keiran and Glenn waiting for me and just as I want to turn to the crowd to see them clapping for the film that took me three years of blood, guts and more money than I have or will ever pay off, I want to indulge myself in one brief, basking in glennmovie love glory. I’m not an egotistical asshole, but I wanted to really savor this moment of people applauding and smiling at me and exchanging the joy! There have been so few joyful moments or ‘pay off’ moments in making this movie over the past three years so I wanted to really take it all in. Before I could revel in this moment and really get a good look at the crowd, an announcement comes over the PA system saying, “Everyone please evacuate the building immediately. Please evacuate the building immediately.” Everyone laughed and looked around and I looked at Rachael from Raindance and said, “Is this for real?” We all thought that surely this wasn’t real since no one from Raindance had announced it. But it was, in fact, real and Glenn looked at me and I just started laughing. I told him that I blame him for the curse of Squeeze and we all filed out of the theatre. I was laughing on the outside and thought at the very least, we’d get a few tunes from Glenn on the street, but I was hugely disappointed that there would be no Q&A and no performance as part of the screening. As my group of people hit the fifty second escalator, we saw some of the crowd from the screening making their way back up again and they said it was a hoax! Everyone dutifully made their way back up to the screening in the sky for the Q&A…. except for Andy Metcalfe and a few other Glenn/Amy friends who are probably sick to death of us both, have already asked all the Q’s they wanted and have received far too many A’s from either of us. Fair enough.

I definitely felt it was typical of how the movie has gone so far and you do have to laugh don’t you? So, Keiran got Glenn and I down the front. There was one stool, which I immediately grabbed due to sore feet from my boots and two microphones. Keiran had a handheld and I was sitting infront of Glenn’s mic, which was on a stand and awkwardly right in my face. I felt like some crap singer songwriter about to lay down a horrible love song. Two mics together made for some terrible feedback, which made me say, “Make it stop!” So we three awkwardly made due with one annoying microphone. Glenn gamely played microphone director and helped Keiran and I out with this. I wish there would’ve been three seats, three mics and a bit more organization but what can you do? It all comes down to the huge number of films in the festival and mine being a tiny one of them. I should’ve actually sorted it beforehand. I was amazed at how many people had questions so that made me incredibly relieved and I was able to relax and have fun. Glenn stood there looking extremely uncomfortable and fidgeting with his bottle of water. I suppose it must’ve been a bit unnatural for him to be standing there, not singing and being without the security blanket of a guitar. Questions that I remember:

Is this your first film? Yes. (I wanted to say, couldn’t you tell??)

What’s next for the movie? I want to sell it to UK television so if any of you know of any TV people who would like to buy it let me know. I think it would be perfect on UK television around Xmas time. Also, I want to find a DVD distributor to release it on DVD-if any of you know of anyone let me know. And in America, I’m looking for an RV company to sponsor me taking the movie around major cities and showing the movie in clubs and then having local bands doing Squeeze covers afterwards, so the evening would be a real celebration of Squeeze’s music.

Keiran asked Glenn what it was like being filmed for the documentary and if he felt it was intrusive and why he decided to do the film. Glenn basically said that it was all my idea and that he felt it would be an interesting commentary on what his career was like and the challenges he faced. I think. Sort of. I was too busy wanting him to stop fidgeting to focus on his answer.

Why did I have Chris Difford’s name in the credits under transportation? I interviewed Chris for the movie when he was in Devon. I had to take the train there and Chris very kindly picked me up and dropped me off at the station, saving cab fare for me. I was so appreciative that he took time out to do that and to be interviewed, I thought I’d give him a little shout out. The interview was never included in the final cut of the movie because it just didn’t fit. When I first made the movie, I had only a rough idea of what I wanted to say. I wanted it to be a bit deep with a whole new insight on the MAN that IS Glenn Tilbrook, Who is he? What motivates him? Etc….. but when I got the footage home, it just seemed like I should focus on Glenn now with the RV as a fun catalyst to tell the story. So Chris’ big screen debut is on the cutting room floor.

How many rough cuts did you have? I think about five. And four editors.

What’s your next project? Everyone asks me that and I just say that I want to get a team of man bitches to rub my feet. I’m so tired from this whole experience! But if Paul McCartney or Neil Finn called me up and wanted me to do a documentary and they wanted to put the money to do so upfront, I’d do it. In the meantime, I just want to go back to my day job of working in television.

Are Glenn and the Fluffers going to tour? Glenn said they are gearing up for a few dates in the US, he’s playing Japan next week if anyone would like to come and they are going to do a UK tour in November.

What’s with the subtitles? When I showed cuts of the movie to other people, no one could understand a word Glenn said, so I had to put them in. I know it’s annoying for English people but even Brits have thanked me for putting them in. They are annoying. But also, it helps to have the subtitles because sometimes the audio in the movie isn’t the best it could be and also, when people are laughing over parts in the movie, it’s a good thing to have in case they’ve missed something. And also, Glenn has a tendency to mumble and ramble. Sorry folks!

(Something that I didn’t share with the audience: I considered doing a UK version of the movie without subtitles, but it’s not simply a case of hitting a button and erasing all of them and then you instantly get a great subtitle free movie. I would have to go back to my editor Jeff, who worked on the movie for FREE and who is now working a regular day job. I’d have to ask him to go back into his editing machine, edit out all the subtitles and then he’d have to redigitize the footage which takes FOREVER and THEN he’d have to do another output of the movie and THEN I’d have to pay another $300 for a different/unsubtitled version of the movie for British audiences. At the end of the day, the time and effort it would’ve taken, not to mention that I could not afford to pay Jeff or pay for expenses in getting this all done, I very kindly thought, GET OVER IT if you have a problem with the subtitles. If any folks out there who have a problem with it would like to donate money for a ‘lose the subtitles’ fund, please visit the Pay Pal icon on my site and I’d do it in a minute. If it’s any consolation, I hate them too but it is a necessary evil and I’ve seen the movie so much I don’t even notice them now.)

What is Scrapple? (Glenn mentions that he was thinking of ordering Scrapple for lunch in one of the clips in the movie.) Glenn said that he’d let me handle this one.

I said that we were eating breakfast somewhere and Scrapple was on the menu and it’s a very white trash dish. Glenn asked the waitress what it was and she said, seriously, “It’s everything on an animal that you don’t eat.” Mmmmm sounds tasty! Glenn then asked if he could SEE it! (A big batch was brewing up in the kitchen as we spoke) and she said, “You don’t want to see it.” UGH. Side story not shared on the day:

Glenn was doing so many phone interviews in the van that we had to be quiet during all of them. We were all getting a bit sick of the same questions being answered over and over and I’m sure Glenn got sick of talking about the same things over and over, but you have to do it! After one exhausting phone call, I asked him if he could fit Scrapple into the conversation somehow in the next interview and he did and we caught it on film, which explains his hilarious, excited reaction to me when he mentions it. It’s these little things that keep one amused whilst out on the road. After he hung up, we all started laughing and singing “Scrapple Scrapple” to the tune of “Rebel Rebel.”

Do you regret putting anything in the movie? Not really. I regret not being able to put a lot of things in the movie. Someone had asked Glenn what the clip where he was on top of a police car with lights going was all about. He said that the cops were called to investigate a disturbance. The disturbance was Glenn taking the entire club in Toronto out on Queen’s street and leading them through an alleyway. What I wasn’t able to include in the film due to audio purposes and bad camera work (a fan gave me the footage and she of course, never in a million years thought it would end up in the movie or she probably would’ve held the camera a bit more steady!), I couldn’t show the cops singing along to the song! I also couldn’t show the end of the song, in which the crowd goes CRAZY (the audio was completely blown) and the cops not only clapped but turned their sirens on and off and made these “blip blip” sounds with their sirens, as if the patrol car were clapping. Such a shame we couldn’t use it!

I don’t really remember anything else that was asked. Someone else asked Glenn a question and as he was answering, I whispered to Keiran that I wanted to say something before Glenn played. Keiran handed the mic over to me and I thanked everyone for coming and said, “I wanted to mention my website www.glennmovie.com and ask that everyone join my mailing list because the more people on my mailing list, the more marketable it will be to TV networks and potential DVD distributors. I’m going to be selling some movie posters outside afterwards and Glenn’s selling his new CD Transatlantic Ping Pong as well. I also wanted to mention that there is a new book out on November 1st by Sanctuary Publishing called “Squeeze: Song by Song” by Jim Drury who is here tonight and it’s fantastic-you’ll love it. And Difford and Tilbrook will be playing a small acoustic set as well as taking part in a Q&A at Borders in Charing Cross Road in November in promotion of the book...” I had to laugh because there was an audible gasp of astonishment and excitement over this announced appearance. Bless the fans! I love it! I continued, “..and I just want to thank everyone for coming and enjoying the movie. It means a lot to me.” I can’t remember if anyone clapped or not but I do remember as I walked up the stairs to leave the cinema (I couldn’t stay to watch Glenn play as I had to go get the posters and get everything ready for when people came out of the theatre.) Glenn got on the microphone and basically said the following:

“Before I start I’d like to thank Amy Pickard for everything and for working so hard. I haven’t been as cooperative as I could have been and I’m sorry for that. She’s done a great job and you can let go now and relax. Thanks.”

And then he went into his songs! I was unbelievably touched and I just wish I remembered exactly what he said, but that was the rough idea of it anyway. I felt relieved, vindicated, victorious (after so many rejections from film festivals, I got into this one and the response was overwhelming, proving that it SHOULD have gotten into other film festivals because people will go see it), joyous and happy.

I went down the eight hundred escalators to get my posters and the only ‘merch table’ that Oli could come up with was a coffee table that stood perhaps an inch off the ground. Hmmm…not exactly the merch stand of one’s dreams but since no other movies sold merch after their screening, it would have to make do. Suzanne put out the Glenn stuff, and I just got the posters out. Unfortunately, Raindance had mislaid my other canister of posters and I had only six to sell. I only had four other ones in the ‘lost’ canister but it still would have helped if I had them. Due to last minute poster fiasco before I came over to London, I got 12 posters for roughly $200 and that was with a discount since the printers mucked up the order and waited until the last minute to sort out! But I didn’t have the heart to sell each poster for 30 pounds. They were only small as well and not full movie poster size. So I just settled for a tenner on each one. And two of them went to friends for free. And two of them were stolen from the downstairs lobby. So much for being the astute businesswoman. I know I should’ve speculated a bit more to accumulate but I wasn’t sure fans would want to buy the posters and I didn’t have that money to throw away.

I found out later that Glenn performed “Untouchable”, “Genitalia of a Fool” and “Reinventing the Wheel” off of his new album TAPP. To finish off with, he played the song “Piccadilly” which was appropriate for the location. Because I was so caught up with the day and the movie, I left it to Glenn as to what he wanted to sing and how many songs. I regret this a bit because the majority of the crowd were not hardcore Squeeze/Glenn fans. I’d say a lot of them were fans but I also know a lot of people there were film festival-y sorts and had no idea who Glenn was. The audience was a pretty good mix of people, young and old. And Glenn astutely chose to sing a song about being caught holding his penis, a song that is an ode to masturbation, and then a song from a Squeeze album from 1981 that wasn’t a single or B-side. And he played all these songs on the wrong guitar since he didn’t realize he meant to bring the other one, he had forgotten to bring a strap for this wrong guitar, and his six-string guitar was missing, in fact, its sixth string. Having lived in the Glenn vortex many times before, I suppose my feeble attempt at controlling the situation would have done no good and would’ve only contributed to my stress level so it’s just as well I butted out. I guess I need to just be thankful that he arrived, that he was happy and that he wore a long sleeved button down shirt. He looked positively dressy! My favorite bit: apparently Glenn told the crowd he was going to sing a few songs “and then you can all knob off”. What a salesman! Sigh… you have to laugh.

Before the crowd filed out, Suzanne and I set up the merch stand on the midget table whilst crouched down like little bunnies. Once everyone came out, my movie posters were snapped up in two seconds much to my surprise! Even more surprising was the fact that everyone wanted me to sign them. I didn’t know what to write! I never really signed autographs before. Tee hee I got to meet the guy who is in a Squeeze cover band (I think his name was Pete) and he gave me a flyer for a gig on October 9th but sadly, I was flying back to America and couldn’t make it. I would’ve loved seeing his band! I saw friends file past and they raved about the movie and how proud they were of me, which just filled my heart with love and joy. Everyone was smiling and talking to Glenn and asking me about the movie. It was really lovely. Someone had asked me if Raindance had paid my way over! I WISH! Raindance employees are practically volunteering, they don’t have the money like Sundance to fly people in and put people up. Dom grabbed Glenn and I for pictures with other filmmakers and for photos in front of the Raindance poster. Check out the Gallery for Sunday, October 3rd on their site www.raindance.co.uk!

We were in a bit of a rush to get out since it was so hot. Andy Metcalfe had picked a pub where could meet afterwards. I found Andy S. waiting patiently for me after it was all over so we grabbed him and took him with us. Meanwhile back at the pub, we practically had it all to ourselves! Some of my friends came by who couldn’t make it in time for the screening itself, so it was a lovely extension of the evening! Unfortunately, it went by in such a whirl that I felt I didn’t get a chance to talk to everyone and tell them how much it meant to me that they came. I didn’t even get a chance to talk to Glenn that much and I hadn’t seen him in like a year and a half or something. I got a very brief version of Glenn’s last tour and the RV nightmares on top of transportation nightmares that ensued and I am amazed that Glenn ever wants to tour again or for that matter, get out of bed in the morning. I selfishly was happy that I had nothing to do whatsoever with the Glenn vortex on that trip last summer and feel a lovely sense of calm knowing that I’m out of it pretty much for good. I also later learned that when he was playing Japan, the worst typhoon in Japan’s history hit and he was stuck on a bullet train for 12 hours on top of canceling and then rescheduling his gig in Tokyo. The man has had some rotten luck! Don’t stand next to Glenn in a lightning storm!

We took some lovely photos, which you can see on the gallery page but like the cinema, the pub was sweltering as well. It’s October for pete’s sake! Shouldn’t it be freezing now? I briefly got to introduce Glenn to my friends and there was a wee bit of mingling and I wanted to just relax and enjoy being with good pals. Five beers later, I was feeling very relaxed and not surprisingly, very enjoyable! It was so nice to hear what everyone thought of the movie and to hear them talking about it. But everyone left before 9pm, which was a bit of a drag. I wanted it to go on forever! Hugs exchanged, everyone went their separate ways and Andy Metcalfe, myself and two other mates went for crispy duck and prawn crackers in Chinatown. We had a lovely chilled meal and Andy and I poured ourselves into a cab at the very dignified hour of 10:30. I was in my kitty suit by 10:45 and Andy called it my ‘chastity suit’. I had forgotten that he was one of the few who hadn’t seen it yet. We stayed up only a bit longer and listened to music and caught up with each other and we had a post- screening run down. I went to bed and fell into the deepest sleep I’ve had in months.

The next day was spent entirely in my kitty suit, eating, napping and intermittently taking phone calls from friends asking for the rundown of what I thought. I was utterly exhausted and was happy that Andy wasn’t judging me for not getting out of my kitty suit until 6pm. I rang Glenn to leave a message on his mobile thanking him for coming and everything and was surprised that he answered the phone! Er… uh…. HI! I told him that I was sorry I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to him properly at the pub last night and he concurred and we just chatted about how we thought the evening had gone. He agreed that it was hugely successful and I thanked him again for taking part and wanted to talk to him about the future of the movie when he gets over his jet lagged Japan trip and before he gets to NY. I’m in the process of setting up a NYC screening. He asked me how I thought it went and I just said I am hugely relieved and he said he could well imagine. I wished him the best of luck in Japan and will see him soon. God, the last thing in the world I would want to do is to go to Japan today. I don’t know how Glenn gets the energy.

The remaining three days of my trip were spent decompressing but still more running around. I got to spend one last night with Johnni who was in town and the next day we scootered around London meeting friends for lunch and coffee. My body clock was still screwed up but when it came time to get on the plane home to LA, I was ready for sleep! My roommate Suzanna picked me up at the airport and asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday in three days and I had completely forgotten all about it! London was my birthday. The screening day was my birthday. All I wanted to do now was sleep in my own bed and lay around. As it happens, my actual birthday was spent sleeping on and off through the day and eating and lying around watching TV. Glorious.

I have only heard from one bigwig since the London screening. It is a UK movie company and they asked for a copy of the movie to be sent to them. They kindly offered their Fed Ex number, so the expense is minimal. With only a few days recovering from jet lag, (and 6 days later as I write this, I’m STILL not quite back to normal) I have had to jump back into the business of working on the movie. How much would I dearly love to check myself into some weekend spa and have people rub me and wrap me and knead me and feed me and pamper me for a weekend instead of hauling my bootie out of bed and down to the computer for glennmovie donkey work! The dubbing station in my bedroom is set back up again and copies are being made hourly, trips to the post office are made daily and emails are sent. I’m sending copies of the movie to the radio stations that Glenn will be interviewed on for his upcoming mini tour and I’m trying desperately to edit the manuscript of the book I’ve written about the movie in order to send it to MTV Books. I’ve felt like I’ve had the flu coming on but realize that it’s just my whole body shutting down a bit after the physical and emotional stress of the past month.

Three years ago, I would’ve jumped for joy and shouted to the world that a major movie company had requested a copy of the movie, but I’m older, wiser and much more bitter about the biz now. Though the guy seems absolutely lovely, I’m telling myself that he is not really interested in buying the movie, but he’s merely a Squeeze fan who knows he can get a copy of the movie because he works for the movie company! I try not to get myself too worked up and excited since my heart has been broken so many times. I’m hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. Of course, I’ll let you all know if there is any good news to report. In closing, I want to say that London was amazing, surreal, everything I hoped for, everything I imagined, touching, lovely and powerful. I am so very thankful that I was able to make the trip over and want to thank everyone (they know who they are) who helped me financially. Work on the movie continues and the fact that so many of you have hung in there on the mailing list through all the trials and tribulations is much appreciated. Thanks so much! I’m tired and broke but very happy and very, very lucky. And I’m proud of the movie dammit!

I’m going to post some new Christmas merchandise on the site soon in order to help cover the enormous costs I’ve incurred with the movie, I’m getting some posters made up and will be selling those on my site soon as well and I’m working on auctioning off a very special Squeeze related item to be announced!

Here are the NYC details: The movie is going to be screened in a special showcase at the Tribeca Grand Hotel on Friday, October 29th. (yes, I know that's the same evening as the Irving Plaza show. Glenn's very kindly agreed to fit this into his already manic schedule and will be at the screening. I'm hoping he'll do a song or two schedule permitting!) Tribeca Grand is located at 2 Avenue of the Americas NY, NY 10013 7pm screening 8:30pm-9:30pm cocktail reception Must RSVP to amy@glennmovie.com. First come basis.

The room holds 100 and I've been told to overbook since there are usually flakey people who cancel, so please email and put TICKETS for TRIBECA in the subject line. I'm going to release 150 tickets in anticipation of last minute cancellations so that's why the ad says 'first come basis'. If you're a straggler and the theatre is filled up by the time you arrive late, you are not allowed to kick my ass. (After all, tickets are free!)

Hope to see you in New York and we'll let you know when more screenings are planned!

Feeling the Glenn love and spreading it accordingly,
Amyx

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